This is what, I think, I want to do.
Hmmmm...are you sure you want to do this? This, by god, will mess you up, assuming there is still any logical scope for messing up left in you. The mature world commonly refers to this condition as incapability and you are a subject of just that. Its not so much an absolute lack of focus, but that of even the least bit of a flare for it. If you don't already know of this, please be understood from this point in your life that you suck, completely and wholly, at each level and layer of your mental, and physical existence.
That is rude, you know.
Could it get any worse than having to look within yourself for inspiration. Give logic a shot, open up your mind and do just this- Think! Would anyone, ever, even in a fit of raging stupidity derive anything remotely similar to inspiration from you. Common Sense, right? OK, Fuck inspiration. What the fuck is with this irritatingly repeated self created notion of pulp brilliance for feeding your own ego. You were fucked up, funny thing is, you still are; much worse I would say. And maybe indulgence, definitely in fact. And brilliant was an overstatement anyway, it was raw at best, which everything is, good or bad are mostly just side effects.
Among other things, Putin is afraid of a punk band.