Misfalhutak!
Yes, the boy prodigy who is presently flowing in the under currents of my thoughts is soon going to unleash himself and unravel what future holds for me in a way. A lot of years back, i had thought of him as a joke( He was the nucleus of a sex centered conversation that i had with myself a day before an engineering exam that I eventually flunked in but then times have changed, HE has changed and transformed into a much sober lad who has a lot to deal with rather than just sex related sarcasm. I have changed too and that exam, nah that rigid Son of a Bitch did not relent for a long time!).
On a strangely warm winter morning as I was going to work I came across this funny looking chap, probably in his mid thirties, who refused to let go off his crotch in a non sexual way and I quite naturally gave him a look of disgust (Its not like if his intentions were in any way, sexual, i would have winked or someshit.) and carried on with my corporate-what is the time, did i check my E-Mails last night, did I complete my assignment, did I lick my boss's ass, did I lick my super boss's ass, how many asses did I lick in all yesterday, what is my annual grand total of the number of official asses that i have licked till date-ways and just generally moved on in life. But the God, and the crotch obsessed man had my life planned, their way. He just jumped his way in front of my Rickshaw within a fraction of a second's gap between I giving him the look and his millionth scratch. Instantaneously, the Rick (what a long bastard word to type) driver applied the brakes in a fruitless attempt to maneuver his way out of the collision and in that attempt, the weird guy instead of colliding against the Rick, somehow managed to get his torso inside the Rick and all of us( now inside the Rick) collided with an electric pole. (No, we did not get electrocuted! This is not a film story, this really happened.) Strangely none of us got hurt and I, quite naturally, opened up to the weird guy in a-Are u fucking out of your fucking mind-way. But then came the twist in the tale! He brought out a live and i kid u not, a LIVE Cobra (may be it was just a snake but whatever, who even brings out a fucking snake as an explanation for jumping into a peaceful man's rick.) upon unzipping his pant and started chanting something in Hebrew(No, i don't understand Hebrew.). This was not something I had expected on an insignificant morning of my insignificant life (not like this brought bundles of significance but anyway) and, with a bloody snake in the mad man's hand I got scared to even take a breath, my mouth fell wide open. I meant to scream but instead of a loud howl I could manage just a hint of it. After what seemed like a few seconds I regained some sense and I asked him what was he up to and what did he want from me. He began singing the song "Tashan Mein...Tashan Mein" and told me that if I did not do what he wants me to he'll have the cobra suck the life out of me ( or, OR he might have said that he'll have the snake bite me) and I'll only be left begging for my life, screaming for help, howling like a little baby. But when I asked him to unearth his wishes to me he continued with "Tashan Mein....Tashan Mein" and intermittently threatened to kill me. So, I just waited for him to get over and simultaneously started imagining if there was some way out of this mess in a heroic way. At that point in time for the first time in the entire course of this event I looked at that man properly. He wore a white sweat shirt that said FCUK EM! around the belly area, filled with lot of food stains all over. His pants, although blue in colour had lost all the blue that there was . He had a square face with just enough stubble to tell his age and a mark near his left eyebrow about three centimeters in length. He must have been quite a looker if dressed normally.(I didn't notice his hair.)
But I couldn't think of much heroism other than maybe what if I tear my shirt in a Hulk manner and that sculptured piece of art within, will scare the crap out of the cobra or may be it'll go away as a mark of respect towards it, or what if I just bite the snake (snake/cobra whatever!) as a sign of offense against the discomfort offered to me this morning. After around a quarter of an hour, the mad man just stood straight, zipped up his pants and said to me in a very episodic tone that I gotta do what I gotta do, that I should not let a snake (and even a cobra for that matter) coming out of some strange mad man's pants stop me from doing it, let alone a crotch scratching mad man jumping upon your vehicle(rick, rickshaw, vehicle).
Questions left unanswered:
1. Where was the Rickshaw driver all this while?
2. Why was he scratching his crotch?
3. Why did he come to me at all?
P.S: Its gonna be a lot different, trust me A lot different.
Yes, the boy prodigy who is presently flowing in the under currents of my thoughts is soon going to unleash himself and unravel what future holds for me in a way. A lot of years back, i had thought of him as a joke( He was the nucleus of a sex centered conversation that i had with myself a day before an engineering exam that I eventually flunked in but then times have changed, HE has changed and transformed into a much sober lad who has a lot to deal with rather than just sex related sarcasm. I have changed too and that exam, nah that rigid Son of a Bitch did not relent for a long time!).
On a strangely warm winter morning as I was going to work I came across this funny looking chap, probably in his mid thirties, who refused to let go off his crotch in a non sexual way and I quite naturally gave him a look of disgust (Its not like if his intentions were in any way, sexual, i would have winked or someshit.) and carried on with my corporate-what is the time, did i check my E-Mails last night, did I complete my assignment, did I lick my boss's ass, did I lick my super boss's ass, how many asses did I lick in all yesterday, what is my annual grand total of the number of official asses that i have licked till date-ways and just generally moved on in life. But the God, and the crotch obsessed man had my life planned, their way. He just jumped his way in front of my Rickshaw within a fraction of a second's gap between I giving him the look and his millionth scratch. Instantaneously, the Rick (what a long bastard word to type) driver applied the brakes in a fruitless attempt to maneuver his way out of the collision and in that attempt, the weird guy instead of colliding against the Rick, somehow managed to get his torso inside the Rick and all of us( now inside the Rick) collided with an electric pole. (No, we did not get electrocuted! This is not a film story, this really happened.) Strangely none of us got hurt and I, quite naturally, opened up to the weird guy in a-Are u fucking out of your fucking mind-way. But then came the twist in the tale! He brought out a live and i kid u not, a LIVE Cobra (may be it was just a snake but whatever, who even brings out a fucking snake as an explanation for jumping into a peaceful man's rick.) upon unzipping his pant and started chanting something in Hebrew(No, i don't understand Hebrew.). This was not something I had expected on an insignificant morning of my insignificant life (not like this brought bundles of significance but anyway) and, with a bloody snake in the mad man's hand I got scared to even take a breath, my mouth fell wide open. I meant to scream but instead of a loud howl I could manage just a hint of it. After what seemed like a few seconds I regained some sense and I asked him what was he up to and what did he want from me. He began singing the song "Tashan Mein...Tashan Mein" and told me that if I did not do what he wants me to he'll have the cobra suck the life out of me ( or, OR he might have said that he'll have the snake bite me) and I'll only be left begging for my life, screaming for help, howling like a little baby. But when I asked him to unearth his wishes to me he continued with "Tashan Mein....Tashan Mein" and intermittently threatened to kill me. So, I just waited for him to get over and simultaneously started imagining if there was some way out of this mess in a heroic way. At that point in time for the first time in the entire course of this event I looked at that man properly. He wore a white sweat shirt that said FCUK EM! around the belly area, filled with lot of food stains all over. His pants, although blue in colour had lost all the blue that there was . He had a square face with just enough stubble to tell his age and a mark near his left eyebrow about three centimeters in length. He must have been quite a looker if dressed normally.(I didn't notice his hair.)
But I couldn't think of much heroism other than maybe what if I tear my shirt in a Hulk manner and that sculptured piece of art within, will scare the crap out of the cobra or may be it'll go away as a mark of respect towards it, or what if I just bite the snake (snake/cobra whatever!) as a sign of offense against the discomfort offered to me this morning. After around a quarter of an hour, the mad man just stood straight, zipped up his pants and said to me in a very episodic tone that I gotta do what I gotta do, that I should not let a snake (and even a cobra for that matter) coming out of some strange mad man's pants stop me from doing it, let alone a crotch scratching mad man jumping upon your vehicle(rick, rickshaw, vehicle).
Questions left unanswered:
1. Where was the Rickshaw driver all this while?
2. Why was he scratching his crotch?
3. Why did he come to me at all?
P.S: Its gonna be a lot different, trust me A lot different.
